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Social Anxiety

Social Anxiety

Social anxiety involves a persistent fear or discomfort in social situations, particularly where there is a possibility of being observed, judged, or evaluated by others. While many people feel nervous in certain social settings, social anxiety goes beyond this and can significantly affect confidence, relationships, and day-to-day life.

 

Social anxiety often develops during adolescence, though it can begin earlier or later. It is not a fixed personality trait — it is a pattern that can be understood and changed with the right support.

What does social anxiety feel like?

People experiencing social anxiety may notice:

 

Thoughts

  • “I’m going to say something wrong”

  • “People will think I’m awkward or boring”

  • “I don’t come across well”

 

Physical symptoms

  • Blushing

  • Sweating

  • Shaking

  • A racing heart

  • Feeling light-headed or tense

 

These physical sensations can increase self-consciousness, creating a cycle where anxiety feeds further anxiety.

 

Attention and focus

  • Heightened awareness of how you appear to others

  • Monitoring your own behaviour closely

  • Difficulty focusing on conversations

 

Behaviours

  • Avoiding social situations or speaking up

  • Rehearsing what to say in advance

  • Replaying conversations afterwards (rumination)

  • Using “safety behaviours” (e.g. avoiding eye contact, sticking to safe topics)

 

While these strategies are understandable, they can unintentionally maintain anxiety over time.

 

The impact

 

Social anxiety can affect:

  • Friendships and relationships

  • Work or school (e.g. speaking in meetings, interviews)

  • Confidence in expressing opinions or being yourself

  • Opportunities and overall quality of life

 

Over time, avoidance can lead to isolation, low mood, or reduced self-esteem.

How common is social anxiety?

Social anxiety is one of the most common forms of anxiety:

  • Around 7–10% of people experience significant social anxiety at any given time

  • Many more experience milder forms at different points in life

  • It often begins in the teenage years

 

(Recent research and National Institute for Health and Care Excellence guidance, 2022–2024)

What treatment can we offer?

There are several effective, evidence-based approaches that can help you build confidence and feel more at ease in social situations.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

CBT is a first-line treatment recommended by National Institute for Health and Care Excellence. It helps you to:

  • Identify and challenge unhelpful beliefs about yourself and others

  • Reduce self-focused attention

  • Test out new ways of thinking and behaving in social situations

  • Gradually face feared situations (graded exposure)

 

Behavioural experiments and exposure involves:

  • Gently and gradually facing social situations

  • Testing predictions (e.g. “What actually happens if I say this?”)

  • Building confidence through real-life experience

 

For some people, support may also include:

  • Practising communication skills

  • Building assertiveness

  • Increasing confidence in expressing needs and opinions

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT supports:

  • Changing your relationship with anxious thoughts

  • Reducing avoidance

  • Building a life guided by your values, rather than fear

Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT)

Helpful where there is:

  • Strong self-criticism

  • Shame or fear of negative evaluation

CFT supports developing a kinder and more reassuring internal voice.

Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT)

Helpful where there is:

  • Strong self-criticism

  • Shame or fear of negative evaluation

CFT supports developing a kinder and more reassuring internal voice.

A compassionate note

Social anxiety can make everyday interactions feel effortful and draining, especially when it seems like others are more at ease. These experiences are far more common than they appear, and they are not a reflection of your worth or ability. With the right support, it is possible to feel more confident, more present, and more like yourself in social situations.

Further guidance and support

You may find this trusted UK resource helpful:

  • NHS – overview of social anxiety and support

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/social-anxiety/

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