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Couples therapy and courses
What sorts of relationship problems warrant help?
Many couples hit a rough patch, when neither of them is getting what they need from the relationship and problems arise. Any number of things can cause this, such as sexual problems, negative emotional states (e.g. depression, anxiety, shame or guilt), unhelpful behaviours (e.g. avoidance, addictions,infidelity), uncertainty about commitment, starting a family or fertility issues, financial problems, work stress or redundancy, when a child is born or leaves home, or a bereavement. However, it is often the couple’s responses to these triggers and their communication styles that can cause further difficulties.
When couples find themselves stuck in a vicious cycle of arguments, where the same grievances are met by the same rebuttals, when blame, resentment and frustration starts to occur, seeking help from an impartial professional can prevent a lot of heartache, before difficult issues get out of hand.
What treatment is available for Relationship Problems?
The early sessions are exploratory. Initially, we will identify a list of your problem(s) that you want to address. Alongside this, we will develop realistic goals you would like to achieve; these are flexible and reviewed regularly. We will look at each partner’s thoughts and beliefs, childhood, and attachment styles to understand the link to your behaviours towards each other. This helps to conceptualise how your relationship difficulties have developed and what is maintaining those difficulties.
Your therapist will then move onto teaching communication skills that we use as a framework to work through each issue you have brought to therapy. At this point the sessions will become more practical.
Therapy can help a couple to: step back from their difficulties and consider alternative and healthier ways to deal with their problems; relieve stress and improve communication difficulties; manage feelings and conflicts; solve problems, make decisions together and promote acceptance. You will learn strategies to: regulate emotional experience and expression; address your physical relationship, revise perceptions and increase caring behaviours and support.
Whether you're navigating a difficult patch or simply want to prioritize more connection...
The 30-Day Relationship Challenge for Parents will help you to make positive changes in your relationship and refocus you both on more loving actions and respectful communication.
This challenge will be of benefit to parents with children of all ages.
Life changes when a new baby is brought into a couple relationship. This applies whether it is your first child or your fifth (etc). Having a baby with someone can make you love your partner in so many new ways, but it can also feel disorienting and it is common to feel like you can’t find yourself, your partner, or any semblance of the relationship you once knew it (and happened to really like!). It’s common and understandable to feel this way. And it doesn't matter how old your "baby" is.
Life with kids can feel chaotic. From when you wake up until you go to bed, you are going pretty much non-stop balancing work, your children, your home etc. It is understandable that you have little left to give to your partner and have unknowingly (sometimes even knowingly) neglected your relationship.
You're not only running on low energy and less sleep, but you might also be noticing critical remarks, defensiveness and less affection with one another. You might be feeling resentful towards you partner or perhaps you’ve both started keeping score. If this goes on for too long, it can lead to more reactivity and arguments that escalate more quickly.
This can feel so discouraging because you know you're capable of being better for each other. You also know it isn't intentional or because you don't love each other.
You can love each other a lot, and still not feel loved.
You can care about the relationship, but not have cared for the relationship.
You can want to feel connected, but not have been prioritizing your connection.
Love is shown through our actions. Relationships need to be tended to and nurtured for them to survive, let alone thrive. If you don't, it's nearly inevitable that you'll feel disconnected – perhaps like housemates, or colleagues whose jobs it is to parent your children together - and deep down, perhaps even unloved or unappreciated.
This challenge will help you find your way in the midst of parenting towards being a couple you can enjoy and love being. If you haven't been prioritizing your relationship for a while now: it's okay, you can take steps to make positive changes.
The 30-Day Relationship Challenge for Parents: where small actions create a big impact... in just a few minutes per day!
How It Works
Before you start the Challenge, you will be sent a worksheet with Communication Tips. These are simple suggestions for how to better listen and share your thoughts and feelings with each other. Most of the frustrations in your relationship come down to a tone of voice, how you approached one another, or being stuck in a pattern. These tips will make you more receptive and effective in your communication styles.
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Every day for 30 days you’ll get an email from me with 1 of these 2 activities:
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1. A Love Gesture. This is a short, playful gesture that you make towards your partner. These fun and simple tasks are intended to make you both feel more connected, loved, and appreciated and will shake up your usual routine of just “managing life’s tasks together”. The gestures encompass all 5 love languages: words, acts, quality time, gifts, and physical touch.
2. A Conversation Starter. This poses a thought-provoking question that ranges from showing more interest to seeking a more deep and meaningful understanding of one another. No more generic exchanges about the kids and chores! Remember when you were so interested in what your partner was thinking and had to say? These conversations offer a clear path to get you back to that level of emotional intimacy.
Remember, it is the small and consistent actions that make the biggest long term positive impacts on your relationship.
Don’t worry, these aren’t complex or time-consuming tasks that will take hours to complete. Designed for the busy and slightly overwhelmed parents, they’re quick but effective ways to show appreciation, express love, and show effort in strengthening the relationship. Each activity takes 1 to 5 minutes - unless you choose to spend longer on them!
Being intentional and prioritizing your relationship will go a long way towards your sense of togetherness and connection you experience.
Connected and thriving couples check-in with each other frequently so that they are always on the same page. As a BONUS, you will receive the Check in Workbook at the end of the challenge, which you can use as a connection tool to maintain your progress in the months and years ahead.
Experience the Challenge for just £30 – that’s just £1 per day.
Marriage preparation sessions
Marriage preparation sessions are designed for engaged couples, couples that would like to explore the idea of getting married, and couples where one or both partners have been married previously, and are wishing to build a strong and lasting relationship. Taking time to invest in a relationship’s future enables a couple to move into marriage with their eyes wide open. It allows them to ask the hard questions before tying the knot. Exploring issues both in the present and anticipating those that might arise in the future can be important as couples begin their lives together. The sessions will involve exploring and learning the following:
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Communication – expressing feelings and learning to listen
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Problem solving and decision making as a couple
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Making each other feel loved
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Resolving conflict
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Having a fulfilling sexual relationship
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Understanding and appreciating your differences
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Spending time together
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Recognising the influence of your family background
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Discussing expectations and future goals e.g. children and parenting
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Roles within the relationship
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Having compatible lifestyles
